None the wiser?
Been taking stock of the last 5 yrs. Guess am at tht point in my life whr I jst hav to stop, take a few paces bck n ask myself wot am doin n perhaps wot am not doing that I shud be. Specifically how things hav changed in the last 5 years.
Five years ago I had just returned to SL. New house, new job, new friends, new everything. As I look back I realize tht I was a fairly mature n responsible 30- year old.
Flash forward to now…. Ive settled in fairly well. Love being back home after 10 years of trotting all over. Love having my mom around – to fuss over me all the time.
Also done a 180 degree turn in certain aspects of my life. Lots of changes while somethings hav remained constant n same. Lost ppl I love, met lots of new wonderful ppl, renewed ties with old friends. A few additions to my life – namely ‘Hugo’ n Izzy’ – my babies! Changed cars 8 times! Yes that’s right – 8!
So wot’s changed in the last five years? Nw that’s a long story. Bt I feel I can share abt lotsa lessons I’ve learned.
Some of them might sound silly, some quite serious n most deal with things I discovered along the way. N a few come from deeply painful personal experiences.
N since its my birthday, I might as well make it 35 lessons…
Some r ‘borrowed’ – some r ‘stolen’ - some r simply ‘mine’ - so here they are..
1) Trust yr instincts. They’re usually right.
2) Not everyone n every deed is based on self interest, not every one has an agenda n ulterior motives – hav a little faith in ppl. be positive.
3) Never fear to tell someone or show someone that u love him/her – yes u might get hurt n yes love is sometimes unrequited – bt life is too short to let a moment pass u by n not let that person feel loved
4) Don’t hold on to grudges – its really not worth it – u learn wot u can from u bitter experiences n walk away enriched by it – cause wot doesn’t kill u only makes u stronger!
5) Family comes first – no matter wot! – if u cant say that u wud lay down yr life fr them – then u r not worthy of being a part of yr family
6) Cleanliness if next to Godlliness – yes ppl – thr is NO excuse! Personal hygiene cannot n should not be compromised
7) Appreciate young children n old ppl – thr’s much to be learnt from them both
8) Our background n circumstances may hav influenced who v r, bt v r responsible for who v become
9) I've learned that two ppl can look at the exact same thing n c something totally different. It’s all a matter ‘perception’
10) The world doesn’t owe u a thing- Nobody owes u a living. Get rid of any sense of entitlement. If u want something from life, then be prepared to make an effort going after it
11) U r 100% responsible- It’s completely true. U r responsible for both the good n bad things that happen in yr life. So if u want to make it better, then it’s up to u to make it happen. N u r not a victim!
12) Thr will be obstacles- No matter wot path u choose, thr will be roadblocks. Expect the unexpected n practice the fine art of looking for pathways around these obstacles n keep trying . It’s important to keep trying no matter wot happens. I’ve seen a lot of ppl give up right at the brink of success. Sometimes all it takes is a little more effort
13) Mistakes r a good thing- Be proud of yr mistakes. Usually they’re the best way to learn about the right way to do something is to completely fail
14) Mistakes r also a bad thing - U can't make the same mistake twice, the second time u make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice. U r not invulnerable n u r not going to live forever. U can (make) mistakes at 18 that u will hav to live with for the rest of yr life.”
15) Practice Continuous Improvement- Success doesn’t happen overnight. It comes from making tiny little improvements each n every day. – “kaizen’ I learnt in Japan
16) The best tool u possess is between yr ears- That thick grey matter in yr skull can be yr secret weapon in life. To solve yr problems all u hav to do is sit down with a pen n paper, n practice a bit of creative brainstorming. Thr r times u need to let yr brain rule yr heart. Its important to know when
17) It’s okay to walk away from some relationships- Some relationships hav an expiration date. (yes they do! Never thought I’d say that) This is especially true if u’re conscious about making a change in yr life. The sad fact is u some relationships hav to be sacrifice in order for u to grow as a person
18) It’s okay to say NO- Thr r times when it’s easy to get sucked into somebody else’s to-do list. Especially if u care about this person. No matter wot though, it’s alright to say no to somebody if u simply can’t help them. V only hav a set amount of time each day. That’s y it’s okay to say no sometimes to ppl. Remember, u can’t please all of the ppl all of the time. Instead focus on the things n ppl that really matter. But if u give yr word - NEVER - and i mean NEVER go back on it!
19) Beware of the word “easy” or “instant”- If a person uses the word easy or instant, walk away. In fact, get the hell away as fast as u can. Take it from me…thr’s no such thing as easy. If thr was, I would be doing it right now
20) Don’t be ‘penny wise n dollar poor’ or lets say “cent wise n rupee poor’- It’s amazing how much time n effort ppl will waste to save some cash. Again, yr time is money. So if u drive extra miles to save Rs.2.00 at the gas pump, then u’re basically saying that yr time is worth less than Rs.2.00 an hour
21) Yr time IS Money- Time is the only limited resource v hav on this earth. Don’t waste it doing activities that bring zero benefit to yr life. Every minute u spend doing one activity means u hav to give up something else. Always be conscious of wot u do with yr time. Bt don’t forget to smell the roses now n then
22) The world can be an ugly, horrible place- Ive seen things happen that has made me realize that human beings r capable of a level of evilness I never thought imaginable.
23) The world can be a beautiful place- On the other hand, the beauty of the world outweighs it’s ugliness. U don’t even need to travel to a distant country to c this… right now, it might be hiding right around the next corner
24) Regularly challenge yr comfort zone- It’s easy to become complacent in life. That’s y I recommend u persistently identify the things that make u a little scared n do something to push these boundaries. be spontaneous n live a little.
So - on my trip to the Maldives next month – am going paragliding! (though I will be holding on to my best friend for dear life!)
25) Often, u hav to give up on wot u love best- I cant name them here ;) – bt in life thr will be moments when u hav to stop doing wot u love. The good news is u’ll often discover a hidden talent u never knew existed
26) It’s a marathon, not a sprint-I’ve always felt this expression is a bit trite, bt as I get a little bit older, I’ve come to love it. Don’t be in a rush all the time. Consistent effort can bring amazing results in almost any endeavor
27) “If u r buying something that u will use often n for a long time, never go cheap. Don’t forget – u pay peanuts – u get monkeys!
28) Dogs r fantastic animals. They deserve to be called man’s best friend. In my experience, next to family, they r the only ones who luv u unconditionally. Bt, if u r under the impression that u just need to buy a collar n a bag of dry dog food every month n u r set, u r in for a rude awakening. Dogs tend to be much more expensive n time consuming than u’d think
29) Don’t ever loan yr friends money if u want to keep them as friends. After all, if they were good with money n were likely to pay u back in a timely manner, they probably wouldn’t need the loan in the first place. If they really need the money, u want to help them, n u can afford it — just give it to them
30) Don’t ever say anything that may offend someone who is going to be serving u food. U never know wot they may stick in it when u’re not looking
31) “U r the average of the five ppl u spend the most time with.” - so choose those 5 ppl wisely if u can
32) At a minimum, keep a basic “to do” list, a schedule, n a budget. Be organized n pay attention to detail – it takes u a long way
33) Read often- The world has an abundance of information. To access it, all u need to do is crack open a book.(or well even google or surf the net) Seriously, u can become an expert on almost any topic simply by reading lots on a particular subject. If u practice this principle, u’ll be amazed at how much knowledge u can accumulate
34) If u don’t know the agenda of the ppl u’re getting yr news from, then u don’t hav the information u need to know if wot they’re telling u is true
35) Thr r at least 6 key areas of yr life: health, career, romantic, social, money, n religion. If u neglect any one of those areas, it will harm u in the other areas n keep u from being as happy as u can be otherwise
I’ve learned a lot of these lessons the hard way. N odds r, u’ve probably discovered many of them for yourself. Bt for wot its worth – I felt I needed to list these out – who knows – I may come compare them with my new list in 5 years from now :)
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